Introduction
Click here to Subscribe to SET India: www.youtube.com/channel/UCpEhnqL0y41EpW2TvWAHD7Q
Click here to Subscribe to SonyLIV: www.sonyliv.com/signin
Click here to watch the full episodes of The Kapil Sharma Show:
www.youtube.com/playlist
Episode 61: The Cast Of Jabariya Jodi
------------------------------------------------------------------
Today's episode of The Kapil Sharma Show starts with a stand-up act by Kapil on the concept of couples. Later on the show, we welcome, the cast of Jabariya Jodi. Stay tuned!
About The Kapil Sharma Show Season 2 :
----------------------------------------------------------------
Kapil Sharma is back with a new 'Salah Center' (Consultancy Business) in a Mohollah with absurd characters. The wealthy milkman Bachcha Yadav (Kiku Sharda) with his wife Titli Yadav (Bharti Singh) and sister-in-law Bhoori (Sumona Singh) is the one who has rented out houses within the Mohollah and is Kapil Sharma's business partner. The neighbors in the Mohollah are also full of quirks and don't shy away from the antics. With celebrities gracing every episode, The Kapil Sharma Show promises fun-filled entertaining weekends.
More Useful Links :
* Visit us at : www.sonyliv.com
* Like us on Facebook : www.facebook.com/SonyLIV
* Follow us on Twitter : www.twitter.com/SonyLIV
Also get Sony LIV app on your mobile
* Google Play - play.google.com/store/apps/details
* ITunes - itunes.apple.com/us/app/liv-sports/id879341352
#thekapilsharmashow #comedy
Video
Wow! Ms.
Archana, people always say couples are made in heaven.
- Yes.
God must be thinking that you did everything.
You followed her.
You were roaming around the girl's college.
Now.
When you are in trouble.
Why you blame me? When a baby is born.
It's called a gift from God.
Again God must be thinking that both of you did everything.
So where's, my fault? Well, ladies, are experts in making pairs.
You must have seen in the market.
They spend hours to find a matching blouse for their sari.
The husbands go crazy due to this.
You are here for only one blouse, right? Why are you taking so much time? The wives gets more angry.
If I would have took this much time by looking at your photo.
Then.
Now I would have been in a happy relationship.
When the couples are happy and they go for walk.
When.
They see any beggar asking for Rs.
2.
They give him Rs.
10.
And.
After going through a scuffle.
If, the beggar says, may God keep you together.
- May God bless you to be together.
Forever.
- Then men starts advising him.
Don't, be a beggar.
Go and get some work.
You are a healthy person.
Get, some work.
Get out of here.
If, the beggar still says, may God keep you together for eternity.
- Whoa! Then, the husband grabs the coins from the beggar's bowl and kicks him out of there.
The backbenchers in school.
The idiots.
They too sit in pairs.
They hide from the teachers.
Also.
The teachers sends them out.
In pairs., When I was in school Dinesh and Pandey always used to stand outside the class.
Even.
Today they are standing outside the stage.
Mr.
Sharma Something's wrong.
What's, the matter, Chinky and Minky? Just, a minute, Kapil Sharma.
Just, a minute.
Why.
Are you asking them? Let me tell you.
These two sisters robbed me.
How.
Can someone rob a robber like you? Kapil Sharma,? These two girls came to my hotel.
- Okay.
You should be happy that someone came to your hotel.
Or else.
No one comes there except the rats.
This is really fun.
Until.
Now you were being insulted by only one person.
But.
Today it has doubled.
That's great, Very good.
Remember, Kapil Sharma, someone who pulls other's underwear.
Someday.
His underwear also gets pulled.
Who told you the procedure for this underwear.
Joke? You are the man who wears a handkerchief like an underwear.
Anyways.
Why I am wasting time on you when two beautiful girls are standing next to me., Yes, tell me, Chinky and Minky.
Mr.
Sharma, Chandu robbed me.
Hold a second., Whom?, You or you? It's me, I, don't know about her.
Kapil Sharma.
They are lying.
Let me tell you.
The truth., Okay.
- One of them ordered a dish and ate the food.
And escaped with an excuse of going to the washroom.
Then.
The other one came and ordered another dish.
But.
They are paying only for one dish.
Is it true, Chinky and Minky?.
There was one dish, and I am the only person to eat.
So I will only pay for myself, right? That's right.
But he's saying both of you ate the same dish.
- Yes.
I ate my dish, I, don't know about her.
She is right., Kapil Sharma.
Tell me, you are with me or them?.
I am with 'sony', I, don't know about you.
Okay, no problem.
Pay for one dish.
Give me Rs., 2500. - Hello, Rs.
2500 for one dish.
What was there in the dish, Chinky and Minky? 'paneer Masala', 'butter Masala' 'chana Masala' 'veg Lucknowi', 'veg Kolhapuri', 'veg Jaipuri' 'alu Puri', 'pani, Puri', 'halwa, Puri', 'kali, Dal', 'peeli, Dal', 'maa, Ki, Dal', 'tawa, Roti', 'mishri, Roti', 'makki, Roti'., That's, enough.
You are hardly six inch tall.
How did you eat all these? No,? These all were in the menu.
The dish was only having 'khoya Paneer'.
Also.
There was no 'paneer' in that.
She's right.
As the name says.
The 'paneer' is missing?.
When I asked him for the Soya sauce.
He said it's sleeping.
Also.
It took him 3 hours to serve the food.
It slept.
- It'd, obviously take time.
He doesn't cook.
Anything.
He makes the customer wait and steals food from wedding, feats!, What! Did you make me eat the food you'd stolen? I.
Don't want to take any risks by cooking! That's.
Why I do this.
Why? Did you charge them? Rs.
2,500 per plate? It was unlimited.
- But.
We were served only a little.
The food is limited, but the price is unlimited!.
Pay, Rs., 2,500 or I will call the police.
No, Chandu, it's a trivial matter., Let's settle it.
Don't call the police.
I will get you the money.
Who ate first? Tell me that and I'll get you.
The money.
Wait.
It was her.
No.
Wait.
It was her.., No.
Come, here.
They.
Look exactly the same! Chandu.
Tell me when you find out and I'll pay.
You! Okay, bye, Mr., Sharma. - Bye.. - Hello.
Why do I feel they have made a fool out of me? Since.
They are beautiful, just enjoy it.
Do you get me? Go.., 'hot, pan?', A, cold pan is of no use, right? Go and continue your work.
Who gave you the watch? Do.
You think I only have pots there? We, wear, watches too.
Come, on, Sharma!, Ms., Archana.
you'd have heard of arranged marriages.
- Yes.
You'd also have heard of love.
Marriages.
- Yes! But you eloped to get married! - I, did!, That's, true.
I said that because our guests today, in their upcoming movie, force, people to get married! They, are making 'jabariya Jodi'.
With a loud round of applause, I'd like to invite the lead star cast of 'jabariya Jodi.' Please welcome the very handsome actor, just like me.
- Wow! My friend, Sidharth Malhotra.
And, the one who still has a crush on me.
Please welcome, Parineeti Chopra!, Wow., Pari and Sidharth, I.
Welcome you to the show! Give, a loud round of applause for this beautiful couple! Pari has already been here, but it's Sidharth's.
First time here.
Yes. - New, set.., New, houses.
There is a coffee shop.
Too! Yes! - Big budget.
Our producer is Salman Khan! Really? - Yes.
Very, big budget.
- What did I hear in the backstage? What? - About someone having a crush.
That was true.
Kapil.
Did you forget that I'd tied a 'rakhi' on your wrist? You are like her brother now! Was that Pari? - Where? Were you last August? I was.
- On the day of 'raksha Bandhan'.
I? Don't what happened to me in the last year.
I? Don't know what people did to me and so.
Anyway, Pari.
It's just for fun! - Yes.
We want to let everyone know.
The movie's director is here!.
Yes! - Wow!, Prashant Singh.
It's, his debut movie.
Wow.
Congratulations, sir.
It seems as if you are tense.
Please relax! You've made a very good film.
We saw the trailer.
It looks awesome.
- Thank you, sir.
Please, relax and order.
Whatever you want to eat.
- Yes! Our show needs you to make movies! Listen.
- That's, right! We have been doing promotions for long now and Prashant didn't come anywhere, but he has come to Kapil's show! - Just, your show! - Wow.
There is a reason.
- Okay.
My family is here.
- I see.
- Mom, dad, sister, aunt.
Oh.
Everyone is here. - Greetings., They're, more excited about 'kapil Sharma Show' than the movie! - Yes! She didn't ask about the premiere.
She didn't ask about the release.
- I see.
She asked.
When are we going to Kapil's show! Tell me now.
Do, you have a crush? Forget me.
She definitely has a crush.
Thank you so much for your love and coming here.
Who else is here, sir? - My sister.
Is, that your dad? - Director's, father.., 'director's, father'.
He, seems younger than you.
Sir, congratulations.
Your son is a good earner.
Nowadays, one out of five or six children turns out okay.
You got it right with the first one.
Congratulations.
Pass the mic to him.
Former marine.
- Sir.
- Wow! I am a marine.
I've travelled around the world.
Really? - Yes.
You're a marine, but you're talking like a street goon.
Thank you, sir.
Love, you.
Same to you.
- 'same to you!' - Thank, you, sir., So, sweet. - At least.
He said it.
Only.
He is going to say it! Keep, that in mind! Sidharth.
How do you get rid of the side? Fat? This? - Yes.
What? Is it called? - Love, handles?, Love handles.
You are unable to handle the love.
I.
Try so hard.
I do yoga and burn some calories.
- I see.
I eat two bowls of ice-cream and it pops out again.
Why.
Is it so? What exercise? Do you do? - You're married now.., Right.
There's, no need to impress anyone.
There's, no use.
Though I get fit.
It won't make any difference.
Exactly.
Why.
Are you worried? - So, I'm, just enjoying the ice-creams.
Which ice-cream? Do you eat that you don't get bloated? - Ice-cream?, - He doesn't eat.
Absolutely.
I, don't eat.
- Isn't it? You, don't have it.
What's the use of being a star then? - Well.
You can have roti and pulses.
Anyway.
Sidharth can buy an ice-cream factory.
Right.
- That's the benefit of being a star.
- Right.
I follow a simple diet.
- Okay. - See, food.
- Yes.
I only see food., - You should just see.
It? You should only see it., - It's a see food diet.
I, always wonder why these heroes look so spicy? Spicy.. - Every time I meet Parineeti she's getting sharper.
Pari, don't reduce further.
A little more.
It should be like I'm, not seen when I come here.
The next time.
How shall I live then? - Remember, the 'rakhi'.
Remember, the 'rakhi'.
- 'rakhi'.
One of the sisters went to America.
The.
Other one is making me her.
Brother.
My work is affected.
My business is ruined.
By, the way, I know you're hurt that I'm married.
But.
You should have come at least to show the public.
Oh, hurt.
- Your wife is more hurt.
She's.
Still in the state of shock.
Mr.
Chopra, you look good.
- Mr., Chopra.., Sidharth and Pari.
Please come.
You're, most welcome.
Thank you.
- Have, a seat.
It's believed marriages are made in heaven.
But Sidharth is getting people married forcefully here.
First of all.
The man is going to be ruined and not by choice.
Why? Why.
Are you doing this? Sidharth,? Why are you doing this? Why? Are you doing it forcefully? - The.
Actual reason behind this is because of the dowry.
That's taken., - Okay.
There are a few such real cases in our state.
When.
The groom's family demands a huge dowry from the bride's family.
- Okay.
If.
The wedding date is fixed.
- Okay.
And.
If they fail to give the dowry then, they ask me to kidnap them.
Actually, you should abduct them and throw them the ones who demand dowry. - Seriously, You're great, that you're getting them.
Married.
- Definitely., Definitely., So, I'm, doing a humble deed., Definitely., - When, you watch the movie you'll get to know if it's right or wrong.
And then, our entertaining love story is 'jabariya Jodi'.
All about. - Oh! You would have watched it in the trailer that Pari falls in love with Sidharth.
- Yes.
Didn't.
You find any humble guy in the entire Bihar? You make the humble guys your brother and you fall for such goons.
Why? Why.
Do you fall for goons?, Since I had signed the movie and that's what the script read.
So, I had to do: it., In, reality, I like good guys and that's why.
It's not you.
So, friends.
Let's talk about their movie.
The couples are always in discussion in our film industry.
Whether.
It's Mr.
Dharmendra and Ms.
Hema Malini., Or, Mr., Shahrukh and Ms.
Kajol.
Who.
Do you think, make the best or the hottest couple in the industry? - I? Think Deepika and Ranveer.
Yeah.
- Oh.
Isn't, it?, Yes or no.
- Yes.
What, 'yes'.
Are.
They answering or teasing us? Whenever Pari comes here, Pari and I.
Look great together.
Give me your wife's number.
I want to talk to her.
I'll, give you.
- Yes, ma'am, please.
Let me dial, Mr., Sidhu's, number., - He's call up Sidhu.
In the movie's trailer, I heard one of Sidharth's dialogue.
Okay.
- That.
He wants to be the MLA this year and his focus is towards the seat than the beds.
- Yes.
That's, a nice dialogue.
- You.
Don't need to be MLA to have a seat.
There are some people who had bad intentions, and some ministers had to give up their chairs.
Oh! - Oh! He even gave up his ministry now.
You, never know.. - No.., - He may be sitting somewhere., I love, Mr., Sidhu.
I, even miss him.
It's, not that way.
- What.
Hey! It doesn't have to do anything with her.
I'm saying it in general.
- Okay.
She has cleared.
She doesn't have to do anything with me.
- Yes.
Everyone were in a confusion.
If the Congress party comes into power or the BJP.
BJP's, followers wanted BJP to come into power, and so the Congress.
It was only Ms.
Archana.
Who was like no matter who comes into power, but she wanted Mr.
Sidhu to win.
So that he wins and he's busy.
So that he leaves this chair for me.
Parineeti's dialogue in the movie goes: let's abduct Abhay Singh and get him married.
Forcefully.
Right., - She's, a daring, girl.
She's planning to abduct the man, who's abducting others and getting them married.
- Right.
Pari.
If you're given a chance to abduct any man in real life, who would you abduct?, - Oh.
Oh.
I'm in a difficult situation., If I had a chance.
Like.
If I didn't get a chance to meet someone, and if I had to kidnap him, it would be Saif Ali, Khan.
Listen, don't woo.
- Oh, Lord! What fixing has Saif Ali Khan done with you? He's already having Kareena Kapoor.
Even Parineeti Chopra wants to abduct him.
Oh, Lord! - Take me.
No.
Look.
Everything is safe.
I've already told Kareena that I love Saif a lot.
She is okay with it.
It's, not like, I'll be actually abducting.
Him.
I maintain this love with some distance.
Even.
I am okay.
With this kind of love from you.
Yes, I mean.
In.
My next birth, I want to be Saif, Ali Khan.
Sidharth.
If you get a chance.
Following her lead, there's another family member, Taimur.
He is very cute.
Yes, correct. - Like this.
Just for fun.
He is too cute.
Correct.
- I'll, abduct him for a day.
Correct.
- Then, I'll return him.
Indeed.
He is very cute.
- Extremely! I meant.
If you have to abduct a wife for yourself.
Can I abduct? - What? - Can I, abduct someone's wife? I mean, no.
A wife for yourself.
- Saif has been abducted., Taimur has been abducted.
Only.
One person is remaining., Bebo! - Look, I, mean.., If I ever see Bebo.
- See, her alone.
- Yes., I mean.
If I ever get a chance, then I will.
Saif will thrash you.
- Because.
This is an unsafe, conversation.
Look, guys.
Sid wants to abduct Bebo.
I want to abduct Saif.
Thus, we're the best pair.
God.
Please abduct us.
Nobody wants to abduct us.
We just abduct these papayas after the shoot, gets over.
We shift watermelons from here to there.
Papayas.
- Pari, since you are here, I, want to know what this fruit is called in.
English.
Pear! - Pear!, Pear? - Pear! What.
Is it called in Hindi? 'nashpati!' - Yes, 'nashpati'!, Okay! Doesn't? It look like a penguin? Isn't it? The one with a sharp beak.
So sweet! - Isn't it, Ms.
Archana? Draw a pair of eyes and a pair of legs.
Every fruit resembles something.
Look at this one.
This looks so rude.
It's a task to peel it off.
- Kapil.
What about this one? What about this one? - This looks like Bachcha Yadav.
This one? - What.
Is it called in English? This? Pom.., Pomegranate! Wow! Wow! How? Is it spelt? I, don't know how it's spelt, but I can prepare its juice.
Most of the pairs are formed due to mutual understanding.
I would like to ask our audience: here.
Who.
All think that their pair is outstanding? Yes, madam.
We would like to know your views.
Hello, Kapil.
- Hello.
Hello, Sidharth.
Hello, Parineeti.
Hello.
- Hi. - Myself, Sujata., Sujata.
Yes, tell us.
According to me, my man and I form an understanding pair, but my family thinks, it's a forced, one., Oh!, Is it a love.
Marriage? I am about to get married.
- You're about to? Next, year. - Okay., Wow, congratulations! The story goes like this..
I was in a bad relationship.
I just wanted a shoulder to cry: on.
Something to pass the time.
- Okay.
So.
There was a guy who was a friend of mine.
I proposed him casually, just to have his company.
Then.
What happened? Then, you.
- Very good.
- ...started having an affair.
No, nothing as such.
He was on his ship and I was here.
He was on a ship? - Yes.
Why? Is.
He in navy? - He is a sailor.
Okay.
- And I proposed him on Imo to pass the time.
He sent me nice, gifts., Then, I started feeling fresh.
Wow, Sujata! - Wow! Why, don't I get such ideas? - Someday.
You will.
After spending a certain amount of time with him I think.
He is the best person I have in my life.
So, I've decided to marry him the next year.
Wow.
When.
Are you guys getting married? Mostly in May.? Parents are still not convinced, but I have decided that by hook or by crook, I will marry him.
Come.
What may! - Yes, come.
What may! Wow! Are you planning to elope? No, I, won't elope.
- Okay.
I'll.
Do it openly.
It's, not a sin.
Amazing! Wow! Wow! - Best answer! Amazing! Wow! You girls make such tall claims.
Why.
Do you feel shy while getting married? Just to show respect.
We show our true colours.
Once we get married.
Man, you must save yourself.
She is too dangerous.
- Too dangerous! No matter what.
He is stuck with me.
Thank you.
Thank you, Sujata.
Anyone else? Another deadly couple?, Yes, sir.
Hi.
Who was forced into this? - Hello, Kapil.
Sir.
What is your name? Tulsi Sharma.
- Tulsi, Sharma! Sidharth, is acting in this movie now, but I have already faced this some 30 years, ago.
Oh, God! I, am from Rajasthan.
- Okay.
I had come to Bombay some 30 years ago, with my elder brother.
Six months, later.
I quit my studies and started learning from him.
What? Professional skills.
I joined him in his struggle.
Okay.
- During that time, my friend was getting married.
I went to Rajasthan.
- Okay.
All, the elders of my family were present.
There.
Okay., - I went to my friend's wedding.
In, the meantime.
They chose two girls for me.
Okay.
- I returned home at 3:00 a.m.
At 6 in the morning.
They showed me the girls.
And then? - Oh, wow! Then.
What happened? I told them that I just started working and quit studies, recently.
I had nothing.
My brother bought four pairs of clothes for me.
I had no idea.
- Okay.
They, said, 'get married, we'll take care of everything.'.
For pairs are more than enough.
You, just wear one pair at a time and after getting married, even that is.
After getting married.
Then, what happened?, - I agreed.
We were engaged for a year.
Then.
They made us marry each other forcefully.
They got me married.
We are still together.
Is she here? - Where is she? - Is, he here? Where is she?.
- Where is she?.
She is the one.
- Oh.
She is.
The one!.
She is sitting right next to him.
She's, so sweet.
She's laughing at what you said.
Even I, find her sweet now.
Not back.
Then.
He is amazing! Amazing! - Amazing! This is our true 'jabariya Jodi'.
Back then.
She wasn't like Deepika, but like the yesteryear, actresses.
Even I had my own dreams.
Even.
You aren't Nick Jonas either! Sir.
Tell me something.
You've been married for 30 years., - Yes.
Have, your kids accompanied you? - I have two girls who haven't accompanied us.
I wonder.
Well.
You got married forcibly.
- Yes.
You had kids as per your wish, right? Yes.
She stopped 25 years, ago.
She didn't.
Let me have the third one.
You had two kids in the first five years? In, the first 7 years., - In, the first 7 years? - Yes.
And in the remaining 23 years? - We had fun.
- Fun.
What, a guy.
Amazing! He's, awesome.., - Amazing! Let us talk to your wife, also.
It's.
Her wish, whether or not she wants to talk.
What is this? It's, her wish.
- Greetings, ma'am.
How.
Are you doing? - Greetings.
Your husband is very funny.
Does.
He make you laugh at home? Not at home, he's laughing so much here for the first time.
Kapil and his show will make even a serious guy laugh.
A serious guy laugh.
Actually.
He has made us laugh a lot.
Did.
You like him at your first meeting? No.
I hadn't, seen him at all.
Then.
How did you agree? - The family had agreed.
You'd, seen him after your marriage? - Yes.
After, our marriage.
When, you lifted his veil.
I mean, when he lifted your veil.
What was your first reaction when your eyes had met? What? Did he tell you? - Nothing,? He asked my name.
He didn't know your name! - He hadn't asked even that.
What did he say: next? He asked your name first, then.
Nothing other than that.
You mean, after that.
Kapil! What's, his profession? I'm into textile brokerage, sir.
Is it in Mumbai? - In, Kalbadevi, Market, Mumbai., Fine.
It was a pleasure meeting.
You.
Thank you.
- Thank you.
Any other friend? Yes, sir.
- Extremely, sweet!, Hello, sir. - Hello. - Hello, Mr., Kapil.
I've not been forcibly married, but my family is going to get me.
Married forcibly.
It's been three months since I've.
Come to Mumbai.
They.
Keep calling me every day saying that they are going to see the girls.
- Where is your native? I am from Jaipur, Rajasthan.
- Why? Don't you want to get married? Sir, because the girl I want to get married to doesn't want to marry me.
It's a very complicated matter., - Right.
- Where? Does she stay? In Mumbai? - She stays in Nasik.
Why? Doesn't she want to get married to you? I? Don't know.
I guess,? She doesn't like me.
What else? Shall.
We have Pari and Sidharth request your girl? Right.
- It's possible.
- Shall.
We tell her? Do, you love her? - Sincerely., Sincerely?, Wow! If, you two request.
She might agree.
What's her name? Sir, I, don't want to.
- Don't mention her name.
She must be knowing him.
Nice.
He respects the girl.
Very good! - Very good.
- Very good.
Not respect.
He is scared that her brother might beat him up.
What's your name? - I'm Faizan Khan.
- Faizan.
Yes. - So.. - Mr., Faizan, Khan's, friend.. - Ms., X.
We request you to please talk to him and give him a chance.
He loves, you., He's confessing, his love, here., Please.
Whether.
He respects you or is scared of you.
It's advantageous for you.
- Right.
Please go out for lunch with him.
It's, our personal request.
- What.
Would you like to tell her? Do you wish to give a message? Go ahead.
All I wish to say is that if she loves me even a little, let her express it.
Otherwise, there's no problem.
I'll continue to live like this., Amazing, pal! - So, sweet! - My happiness lies in her happiness.
Wow! 'my happiness lies in her happiness.' I mentioned her name in that., I see!, Wow.., Smart!, 'my happiness lies in her happiness.' Her husband isn't going to be your husband.
Go and convince her.
If things don't work.
Out, then think of it.
Later.
But, don't miss the chance.
Now.
Do, you know why? People keep grieving later by getting their names.
Tattooed.
Faizan, all the best! Good luck! - Thank you.
You are a very good person.
- Thank you, ma'am.
Thank you so much.
Any other friend? Yes, ma'am.
Hello, Mr.
Kapil.
I got married.
When I was in my ninth grade.
- I see! - My parents told me that the boy is good and that I get married.
Did.
He turn out to be good? Listen to what happened: next.
Very, good.
Have.
You got rebuked like this by any viewer? I'm concerned about her husband.
Yes, ma'am.
What happened.
Next? I got married in 1986.
We had a baby in 1987.
- Fine.
It was a boy.
- Fine.
He said he wants a girl.
- Fine.
- Then I gave birth to a boy in 1988.
He has accompanied me here.
I, see., - He said he wants a girl.
- Fine.
I gave birth to another boy.
The next year.
So, we had three boys.
- You didn't have a girl? We didn't have a girl.
- Fine.
I said, 'enough.
Stop it now.' She is saying, 'stop it.
Stop it now.' Had.
He really wanted a girl or just like that.
He, really wanted a girl.
Well.
It's the act of God.
- It was God's will.
I said, 'nothing is in my hands'.
- Exactly.
Hasn't, your husband accompanied you? - He, hasn't., I, see.
He doesn't accompany me anywhere.
- She's amazing!, At least.
He came to the place where it was necessary.
He did come.
There.
Oh, Lord! Haven't, your kids accompanied you? Yes.
One of my sons has accompanied me.
He is my second son.
Second! Second.
Oh, God! - Superb! What's, your name? - Anil, Shah.
Anil.
Your mom is so sweet.
And.
She speaks very sweetly.
So sweet.
- It was a pleasure talking to you.
Thank you very much.
- 'second son..' Wow.
- Hello.
Hi, Parineeti.
How are you? - Hi.
I am fine, drama, queen.
I thought I'm the drama queen, but it's you! No.
It's always going to be.
The original drama, queen.
Hi, Sidharth.
How are you? - Hello,? How are you? Very good.
Hi, Kapil.
How was my dance?.
What was that? How.
Could you call that dance? That's her step.
- Correct.
Why? Did you do that awful step? I was entertaining the guests and I was raising the level of the show, Kapil.
- Wow.
Absolutely.
- Correct.
- Did you raise the level?.
We have been making money for the past 5 years.
She has just come.
Let her make some money too.
Why.
Are you desperate to stop the show? Such an awful step! The sage's.
You invented it.
He'd have been shocked to see it! Kapil.
You should consider yourself lucky that a great actress like me is working with you.
Actress? - Yes.
She is the actress.
- Yes.
You could call yourself a mattress!.
You could buy four of them for Rs.
1,200! Oh, my God! - You'd get pillows for free.
Wait.
Where.
Can you buy four of them for Rs.
1,200?, The ones? People sell after their kids pee on it! Sidharth.
Please take me somewhere because my growth has stagnated because of him.
Your growth stagnated because of Iodine deficiency.
Buy good quality.
Salt.
Pari.
Haven't you done an ad, Pari? - Yes.
'does, your toothpaste have salt?' Even the salt she uses, isn't saline! You'd feel like throwing up after eating.
It! Growth isn't always about height.
It's about career as well.
That's.
What I was talking? About.
You'd stopped it! Do.
You think you are as good as Priyanka Chopra and someone like Nick Jonas is waiting for you? I, swear.
Hey! I.
Don't want to talk to her.
- Leave her. - Come, here., If, Nick Jonas had seen me.
He'd have slapped you! - ...he'd have become my fan.
I, don't want to talk to you.
Sidharth.
Let's talk.
I saw your movie's trailer and you help women, right? Yes.
- Am I, not right? I need your help.
There is a guy called Chandu here.
I see.
- He is pestering me.
- I see.
Please save me from him.
Please! What.
Does he do? Does? He trouble you? - Yes.
Hello, Sidharth! Hi, Pari.
- Greetings.
What? Address her as 'ma'am.' Ma'am! Address her as Ms.
Parineeti, Chopra.
You are keen on grooming.
Me! Who told you about grooming? I guess he is learning..
- Ms., Parineeti, Chopra., All, right.
I, came to give her my wedding card.
What is it?.
- Who is getting married? Who told you about it? You go to weddings without invitation.
I stopped doing it.
Since you entered the fray.
Cover, your knees! Are, you really broke? They are broad-minded.
- I think he is broke.
Oh, my God! Why.
Did you call her Pari? - I called her fondly! Are you her relative to do.
That! You addressed her as if she lives in your neighbourhood! Listen to me, Kapil Sharma.
When Nick Jonas is her brother-in-law.
She won't live in neighbourhoods.
Upgrade yourself.
Such people live in luxury flats or bungalows! Where? - What?, Where? - Bungalows!, Bungalows!, Where.. - Bungalows.
Don't, blame him.
He is hungry.
Have, the bananas will you? Here you go.
The format is easy., Just, peel it and have it.
'the format is easy.'.
- Format.
I have to mention it since he hadn't eaten it.
Before.
'the format is easy.'.
- Have it.
It's easy to eat but hard to get rid.
Of! What.
Do you mean by neighbourhoods? Neighbourhoods are places where you'd be a watchman at night and scream 'stay.
Awake.' She has her eyes on me.
Even at night.
Just say yes and let's together, say 'stay awake' all night.
Kapil, explain to your friend.
- Friend? He has an eatery.
Call him, the guy who runs the eatery! Kapil Sharma.
- Yes.
Are, you snubbing my friendship? We are considered to be good friends like Jai and Veeru.
Really?, - If.
They hear you, Mr., Amitabh and Mr.
Dharmendra will slap you!, Sunny, Deol and Abhishek will also thrash you! You'd, not even know whom should you apologise? To! He deserves a slap! Sidharth.
He is the one.
I see.
- Please make him understand.
He pesters me all the time! Mr.
Sidharth, I will explain: everything.
- All right.
Actually, I love, Bhuri. - Oh! And, that too, truly.
- Is it? And.
She keeps refusing me.
Sir, tell me.
Do heck with such a lover! Just.
Look at his face.
He looks he got a sour burp.
You.
Think I'll love, him?, - Did you hear that? You got a reply from her, sir.
- Wow! - Don't feel bad.
Eat your banana.
- Someone, who got slapped in a gathering.
Just get out.
Look, I'm eating the peeled banana here.
Just turn your face.
- Peeled banana.
Peeled, banana. - Peeled, banana., Sir, listen.
It's, not right to force someone.
- Right.
Except, our movie.
- Yes.
So, don't love her, forcibly.
- He has to do it.
Forcibly.
No one would love him by choice.
What.
Will you take to leave this place? Would you like to be threatened or you want to be abused?.
Abused! Your menu remains the same: always? - Menu.
Offer, something different.
Like being pushed or thrown out.
Move.
- Pari.
- Yes.
- Buddy, hang on.
Here's the banana leaf.
Add banana over this.
Using, whose blouse you got this jacket, made? He's, trying to look like you.
Moreover, he's wearing dupatta around.
You could have worn salwar's pant as well.
Forget it, buddy.
- Listen.
Buddy, listen.
Just sit.
- Come, buddy.
Come.
I brought my friend back.
- I'm here with some hopes.
He's, quite talented.
Sit.
Tell me.
What should I do? Go, on.. - Mr., Sidharth. - Yes., Hold, on.
My knee can be seen., Ms., Pari and Mr.
Sidharth.
- Even, your rear can be seen.
Kappu! - Yes., Mr., Sidharth. - Yes. - Please, explain, her.
You can't find all the qualities in the same guy.
At least, one should have a few.
He doesn't have any of them.
Why not? I'm the dhaba owner.
I'm handsome like Sidharth.
Hey.
Is he praising me or insulting me? We'll turn off the camera.
You may beat him up.
If you wish to.
- Let me go for it.
The water fills till his head during rainy season.
- Okay.
Then, I transfer, some to Haryana as well.
Think before you speak, buddy.
- You.
Think before you, speak.
You can't match up to Sidharth in anyway.
Sidharth made an entry into Bollywood through Karan Johar whereas, you enter with the bowl! I'll definitely enter with a bowl for someone cheap, like you, right?, I'm tired, buddy.
I want to hit on your head with the pineapple.
You won't be able to pick it up.
Shall I, try with you? - Hear me out.
Why, don't you both start a beggar's association, together? What.
Do we do? Is this one related to you? You.
Both look, same.
Your body looks something like this.
- Oh! - Oh!, It's good for health. - It's good for health.
Eat on empty stomach and you'll feel full.
Bhuri, accept my love or else.
I'll carry you and take you on the wedding, day.
- Parineeti.
There are some guys who only carry chairs at the wedding and nothing else.
I didn't tell you about their acts.
You know what he does? He attends the weddings and keeps the mare busy and eats the chickpeas kept for them.
- Oh! - Mare.
Look at his mentality.
Just.
Look at his mentality.
That I'll attend the wedding and then, talk to the mare.
Hi, mare.
What's up? Oh.
Wow! How's, everyone in your family? Are they fine?, Mare's, family? - Your snaffle is very nice.
Where did you buy it from? And the mare will go.
And I'll eat her chickpeas.
Wow, Kappu Sharma.
The mare will tell.
You! What was that! Really? Looking at my acting.
You should go like.
You.., You're, saying, you.. - Chandu, listen.
I.
Did that for what you said about the chickpeas.
For, your acting.
My reaction would be yuck! Whether.
Your reaction is you or yuck? If I don't carry you and be my forced beloved I'll get my name: changed.
Oh! You.. - Chandu.., Chandu.., - Chandu.
Everyone is so excited.
If I don't make a heck out of his life.
I won't remain to be Bhuri.
Heck out of his life.
- Bhuri, I'm, ready for everything.
Just say, yes., Anyway, Bhuri. - Oh! Accept yourself.
As my bride or else.
Parineeti.
- Yes.
- You make your broom run away with you, right? - Yes.
I'll kill him, today.
- Hey! - Wonderful! Drop it.
Listen.
Hey.
Look at me! So,! Are you one who robs the truck drivers on highways? Of course, not.
She's, my boss! Who? - Ms.
Archana.
- Ah!, Ms., Archana you're, the guest for such a well-known show.
I, didn't expect this from you.
Hey, Chandu. - Yes., - You, know Kapil? - Yes.
I keep when Kapil says something because it's his show.
If, you say: something.
- Ah! - Wait and watch! Ms.
Archana, listen.
This is not fair.
When Kapil cracks some joke.
You laugh very happily.
That's because it's his show.
- If I do.
You act like some goon.
Fine, sir., Mr.
Sidharth.
You didn't help me and that's fine.
She doesn't love you.
I'm helpless. - Okay, ma'am.
Did, you force her? Get a sanitizer for them.
Help them clean their hands.
What.
Do you mean by force? Excuse me! No means no! - No! What.
Does it mean when the girls says no?, No!, No! And? That's what we do to make a living.
Sidharth appears to be so decent.
But I have got some information from the grapevine.
What? - What? - He had failed in his 9th grade because of girls.
Really? Sidharth.
Is it true?? Yes, I had failed in my 9th grade.
Okay.
But.
That proved to be advantageous to me in a way.
I was studying in an all-boys school.
Okay.
- When I failed in my 9th grade I'd to change my school to get admission in the 10th grade.
Okay.
- And, that was a co-ed school, so.
I was not only given admission to 10th grade in that school, but also had girls as my class mates, instead of only boys.
After.
That I never failed.
In my 10th, 11th and 12th grade.
He is a very cultured guy!.
Parineeti had acted in a movie by the name.
- Yes.
'...Hasee Toh Phasee.' - Yes.
Pari.
You always keep smiling.
Have, you ever fallen for any guy? If she had fallen for me, Nick Jonas would've been my co-brother now.
He is obsessed with Nick Jonas.
- Co-brother! Listen.
- Someone introduce him to Nick.
Give his number to him.
I love, foreigners.
Foreigners, you know.
Foreigners., - Foreigners. - Caucasians!, Chilling!, Chill., - What.
Will you say to Nick? Yes,? What will you say.
If you meet Nick.
What will you say to him? - What? Will you talk with him? I? Will say.
After that? I will say that the white people have looted us again! But, Pari, seriously.
Guys are normally naughty by nature.
They misinterpret things.
Has.
It ever happened that when you gave a sweet, smile.
As it is.., - Yes.
You are bubbly by nature.
She is always happy.
I like her very much.
Has.
Anyone ever misinterpreted your behaviour.
When you smiled at them? Has, any guy got a wrong message because of that? No, I.
Don't think so.
Because, I, think, I become friends with everyone.
A girl and a boy can never be friends.
With boys.., A boy and a girl.., - A boy and a girl can never be friends.
Love.
Love.
Ma'am had asked this question.
Yes.
- What is love?, What is love?, - Love.
- What is love?.
...Is friendship.
- Love.
- Love is friendship.
...is friendship.
Love is friendship.
- What an absolutely.
It is ma'am's dialogue.
- What, an absolutely beautiful, thought!, - Lovely thought! Yes.
You are doing it better than me.
- Ma'am.
It is ma'am's.
Dialogue.
- Let's hear it.
It was such a nice scene.
Let's hear it for the original Mrs.
Braganza.
Yes! Ms.
Braganza.
- That's right.
- Ms.
Braganza.
She never gets married.
You had teased Mr.
Anupam a lot in that movie.
And.
Then you break his heart.
Ms.
Archana.
When you had told this to Mr.
Anupam in the movie, his baldpate had started shining even more.
Do you know? Sidharth has a lot of female fan.
Following.
- Yes.
Everyone likes him., But girls like him, more.
It, is natural.
He is a handsome hero.
He is popular., He is a super.
Star.
You might be getting a lot of gifts.
That's for sure.
Have.
You ever got any weird gift from a female fan? Actually.
A few years ago, some fan of mine had sent me a gift in a small box.
Okay.
- A letter was also in it.
When I opened the letter and read.
It.
I came to know that it was some female fan of mine.
Some young girl.
- Okay.
She had written that she had sent her pillow.
That.
She sleeps on it.
- Oh! That.
She wants me to use it.- Is it? So that she gets a feeling that we share the same bed.
To prove that she had written on the pillow yes.
This is my.
Yes.
This is my pillow.' A strand of hair, as the proof.
Oh, lord! She might have been suffering from hair fall.
She hadn't sent me her cut hair, but a fallen hair., Incredible! People.
Think of such weird ideas.
Pari.
You know what I was thinking.
Like Pari.
There are many other actresses in our industry.
For instance, Deepika, Kareena., They.., They, never.
It seems like they.
Never get pimples, eczema.
- Oh, god! It seems like they never get.
Them.
Only people like us get them.
Pari, you.
Seriously.
Do you? People ever suffer from flatulence? - God! Huh? Listen.
We get paid a lot of money to do.
Acting.
So.
We do very good acting.
I hope you understood.
Now.
I have observed that women, even after getting old, still stay prim and proper.
Like a heroine, right? Men after crossing their 50's end up passing wind.
Even while sitting and chatting in public.
Isn't it? My grandpa had a friend.
He used to do that.
God! - Actually, my grandpa used to do that.
I think, at that age.
They might be thinking that.
What is the point in being vain.
Are? You sure that this story is of your grandpa? Hey! - Are you sure? Sidharth is from a rich family.
Have.
You ever got folliculitis? I want to know even about heroes.
Also.
What kind of questions you ask, Kapil?, Yes, I, had got eczema folliculitis, while playing sports.
What do rich people call folliculitis as? What.
Do they call it? - Even I? Don't know.
We will have to ask Nick Jonas.
Right.
Ask Nick.
- Not again! What.
What do they.
- It's a boil.
I think it is a boil.
Yes.
- Boil! Yes.
- It's, a boil.
Yes.
I think.
- Hair, rising boil.
Even, his skin disease sounds very beautiful.
A 'boil'.
Someone check on the internet, guys.
It's, a half-boil.
Wow! The, skin diseases and itching are meant for us.
For instance, heat rashes in summer and runny nose in winter.
And.
We develop heat rashes in a place where our hands won't reach.
One keeps doing this.
Can't reach, fully.
I know all this is his story.
You are suffering from all this.
The story that started with your grandpa..
A person learns from his own life.
Kapil! We know that Pari is very fond of electronic gadgets.
Right.
I'll give you a task.
I'll mention the names of a few actors.
- Fine.
You have to tell us with which gadget you'll compare them., Oh! - Okay? - Ready.
Let's start with Sidharth.
'sidharth Malhotra.' Sidharth Malhotra is is like the smartphone.
As he's smart.
And good-looking.
Very, nice answer., 'ranbir Kapoor.' Ranbir is very cool, composed, and is always calm.
Like.
The AC.
- Oh! AC? AC? Okay.
'govinda.' Govinda.
I've even acted in a movie with Mr.
Govinda.
He's, always moving around.
He is very energetic.
He keeps twisting comedy.
So, the mixer grinder.
Mixer grinder.
- Very nice! 'varun Dhawan.' - Varun? Varun is like the battery.
He's like a battery.
He charges, the others.
- He charges, the others.
Like, the generator.
Very nice.
- He's, like the generator.
Full-on energy., - Right., 'ranveer Singh.' Oh! He's, like the generator.
Ranveer, should be.
As per me, the popcorn machine.
Why? - He keeps jumping like this.
Like the popcorn.
- Popping.
- Correct.
Every time, I, looked at Ms.
Archana.
Sidharth, there's a pretty girl over there.
Right.
- Your T-shirt has these words: 'I love, you, Sidh'., Yes, I, just.. - Oh!, Stand, up.., Wow! There are more of them.
- What! - Wow! Hi.
Kapil.
- So sweet! Life should be like yours.
I'm here to just host the show.
They just want to meet you.
- Yes, of course, please come.
Come, over.., So, sweet., Lovely.
How are you?.
Yes, of course.
How are you? So sweet! Love, the T-shirt.
What? Are, you okay?, Lovely! I, hope these are tears of joy.
Thank you so much, Kapil.
- They adore you.
And.
They came here walking like the chicks.
That's, so sweet.
All of you are cousins? Lovely!, Girls.., - Thank, you so much.
Girls.
You are excited to meet him, right? You met him on our show.
Pay Rs.
1,000 each., Yes.
Take, the mic.
You, want to say something? - So.
We prefer your show always.
So sweet., Thank, you., So, sweet., Thank, you, girls., Bye., Thank, you.., Don't, cry., Be, happy. - Yes.
I am so happy that we finally met.
Okay? Thank you.
Thank you.
- Thank you.
Thank, you., Please, come, Sidharth., Please, come, Pari., Kapil, I want you to get a T-shirt designed with these words.
- 'pari is my sister.' 'is, my sister.' - Pari.
Pal.
Five of them just met you and there are crores of them.
Outside.
I am trying to woo one girl.
And.
You want me to consider her as my sister? You are married.
- How.
Does that matter? Oh, God! How does that matter! You also find mobiles with dual SIM cards.
Naughty! - I never met a girl who had my name written on her T-shirt.
I meet fat.
Women who ask me, 'you come on TV, right?' I am like that.
So are my fans.
But.
Thank you for your love.
We, see rumours being published about movie stars in film magazines and newspapers.
We wish to confirm certain things from you about the rumours heard about you, Sidharth and you, Pari.
Sidharth.
It says that 'when you are hungry' 'you rush to have something.
You can't bear hunger.' Is, it true? I.
Think it's partly true because, when I feel hungry, my mood tends to change.
I am a Punjabi foodie.
So.
Even, he is a foodie.
He has no paunch.
My paunch is visible.
Parineeti, about you, we've heard that.
I see! It's, a good rumour.
'you were so good at your academics that you've got' 'the President's Award.' Right.
- What! - Have you? - I, see!, Yes, I'd broken the class record in Economics that year.
Amazing! - Wow! - I'd, scored, 97 percent., 97, percent!, Wow, Pari! I am so proud of you.
97, percent! - Yes, 97, percent.
Mine and my brother's combined score.
Wasn't so much.
He's over there.
We scored, 33 each, that is, a total of 66.
Even.
If we add our dad's score, we won't get 97.
That's, wonderful!, Sidharth. - Yes?, - There are rumours that you like to play with guns and revolvers.
Actually.
When I was young, my dad had gifted me.
Have.
You watched the movie, 'home Alone'? Yes.
Did.
You watch how he scares those two robbers, in part: one.
Scares, them.. - Exactly., ...with, a pellet gun.
- Yes.
My dad got a similar gun for me.
- Okay.
And I was very attached to it.
But one day, when.
I think, after 6 to 7 years my elder brother gifted it to the girl's brother with whom he was in love, with., - Oh.
He gifted it.
I thought.
He did something else.
- No.
We had a bitter fight, as he didn't inform me about it.
But I was crazy about gun being a hero, and fighting right from the beginning.
- Okay.
Good that you were able to fulfil your dreams.
Congratulations! Parineeti.
There are rumours that you judge people based on their nails.
How.
Did you get to know about it? - Is? It true? I've, checked your nails, long ago.
Basically,! It's a strange thing that I got it from my dad.
- Okay.
Whenever I meet someone for the first time.
- Okay ...I always take a look at their nails.
So.
My dad used to tell me that if nails are maintained well and neat, it means that the person is good.
But.
You shouldn't trust a person.
If the nails are broken., They won't be even hygienic.
- What does that mean.
That means, some people have very short nails.
Those people who bite their nails.
- Oh! I, never bite my nails.
- Not because of biting.
Let me see.. - My nails were long, I, trimmed them just yesterday.
Good.
You've, passed., Approved., Pass?, - It's, a very strange thing., My, close ones, and my friends ask me the results of the nail test.
Is that so? - I keep telling them that they failed.
The test.
- Nail test! So, I get to know that a particular person isn't worthy of being my friend.
You judge people, so much.
The nails of people who sell Pani Puri are so long.
And.
You eat Pani Puris from them! What about your judgment, then? Sidharth.
There are rumours against you.
- Okay.
...that.
You shave your chest, hair with women's razor.
What kind of rumour is this? I, don't know.
It's a rumour, so I thought I'll confirm it from you.
No.
I use an electronic trimmer, pal.
Okay.
What are you..
- Kapil has once again spoken something about him.
- Is, that so? I hope, you're, not talking about your friend or your brother's friend.
Yes, he's the one who does that.
- My brother's friend.
I, wonder as to what it means by girl's: razor!, Exactly! - It's, pink in colour.
Does.
It come with a lipstick.
On? It's comes in pink colour.
That's, the only difference, right? How.
Do you know about girl's, razor? Okay,? Actually there are several rumours.
They say that Parineeti doesn't turn on the ceiling fan at home as she's scared that it might fall on her.
Is this true? - What! - Really? - Yes, it's true.
Has.
It ever happened to you? - No.
It, never happened to me.
But I'm scared of ceiling.
Fans.
Because I feel that it will rotate and fall on me.
Give, a big hand.
- That's wonderful! Wow! - That's fantastic! - How.
Do you do? Wow!, - You, look fantastic!, That's, wonderful! - Thank, you.., There's, bouquet, garden and many more things on your head.
Then, come to the garden sometime.
Parineeti, you're amazing!, - Okay.
You acted in 'namastey England'.
- Yes.
The England won the world cup.
- Yes! I wish you had acted in Namaste India., At least, we would've reached finals.
- Exactly! Please come, have a seat.
- Please come.
Please, give a big hand.
Their next movie is a super hit.
Give, a big round of applause.
The promos are amazing! - Wow! What's this? - I'm, going to call Karan Johar to complain about you.
- What, for? You'll, get to know in a bit.
That's the ringtone of his phone.
- Okay.
Hello, Karan! Speak loudly, I can't hear you.
Speak loudly.., - The actor of 'student of the year' has come to our show as a goon.
What.
Do you want me.., Okay, sir., Thank, you.., Mr.
Karan looks very polite, but he uses foul language.
You got scolded from him! Sir, I watched the movie 'student of the year'.
You were a good student in that movie.
- Yes.
Then.
Why didn't you look for a job after that?? He is acting in big movies.
He will act in movies throughout his life.
But.
He has to marry and settle in life as well, right? - Yes. - Correct.
The girl's.
Dad would ask as to what the boy does for a living.
- Yes.
Then.
Can he say that he runs behind girls? I'm, telling you the truth.
Why? Don't you look for a government job in railways? Why? - So that you'll find an awesome girl like me.
- See.
- Is, that so? Railways.
You just.
Please, look for one today.
- Yes.
But.
Why only in railways?, I mean.., - You can work for a longer period.
He can work for a long period.
- I got it! That's what I meant.
- That's? What you meant.
Parineeti is sitting next to him.
- Yes.
How many coaches are there? Don't, you think it's too much.
- Who will pay heed to you?.
Let me tell you this.
I'm, more loyal than them.
- How? Now, she's, acting in a movie with Sidharth Malhotra.
Next, she'll act in a movie with Pawan Malhotra., Last time.
She came with Akshay Kumar for promotions.
- Yes.
And, Akshay Kumar came with Sonakshi Sinha for promotions.
Where is the loyalty here? Come on, tell me? - You're right.
- Exactly! That's wonderful! Am I right? - Correct.
Yes, you're right.., - I'm, more loyal than them.
I come on.
This show only with him on Saturday and Sundays.
You both make an amazing pair!, That's wonderful! By, the way, shall I tell you something from the heart.
I have acted with many peoples, but I didn't achieve.
Anything.
You got it right! - Am I, right, Ms., Archana? We're on the same boat.
I'm, a huge fan of Pari's.
- Okay.
I watched, 'ishaqzaade'., I loved it., - Thank, you.
Remember, the train, sequence? Their vehicle was right on track.
I.
I can see that you love trains., - To, be honest.
I whistled at it., - Oh, dear! I, have my bestie there.
Mukesh.
Bestie.
- I live in Nala Sopara.
- Okay.
Even.
My friend keeps looking for such a compartment.
- Okay.
But.
He doesn't really find it.
Why.
Do you drag Mukesh into all your conversations? Even? You drag your friends into your conversations.
What about that? - True.
Oh.
Burn.
- Pari.
I'm, telling the truth.
- Okay.
- Here.
Here we have Chandu's eatery.
One of his friends is holding the guitar.
Okay.
- There.
That's, Mr., Ashok.
His brother-in-law is standing behind.
Him.
Everyone has surrounded him.
Yes.
Can I be honest?.
He keeps his entire family here.
- Okay.
But.
He didn't call my uncle, who's a superstar, even once.
Chi Chi.
- Mr., Chi, Chi., Kapil.. - Ms.
Archana, don't clap too much.
- Yes.
Can I be honest?.
- Why? You need to be careful of Sidharth.
- Why? Didn't, you watch the trailer? - Okay.
He said this line in the movie.
- Okay.
'I tend to focus more on the chair than on the bed.' Am I right? I wasn't talking about her chair.
- Okay.., That, one.
- Everyone knows that it's not her chair.
It's someone else's.
Smashing.
- Oh, man! - My, bestie, Mukesh.
He's, a big fan of yours.
- Is that so? You inspired him to go to the gym.
He does? - Yes.
He went there the day before yesterday.
He lifted.
Two dumbbells.
- Okay.
Then, four people carried him home.
If, you soak some Bengal gram, overnight.
- Yes.., The lentils seem more swollen than him.
He's very tiny.
More than him.
Hey, Sapna! Are you done? No.
It's only been 4.5 minutes.
I still have one more minute.
You see.
If I don't finish, my shift, the people at Sony tend to deduct money from my salary.
- Deduct, money.
Want, to know a little secret? - Yes.
People, who work in TV channels can't be trusted.
- Okay.
Our show lasts for an hour and a half, right? - Yes.
Then.
They air the show called 'crime Patrol'.
Wow.
Whose idea.
- And.
When 'crime Patrol' ends they air the show called 'superstar Singer'.
- Yes., Poor Shilpa Shetty.
She worked really hard on 'super Dancer'.
She fetched great TRPs., - Yes.
- They ended the show.
Why.
- You see.
If they find a few good dancers, they kick the singers out.
True.
- And.
If they find a few good singers, they kick the dancers, out.
- The, dancers.., Out.
This is how they are.
But.
Whatever it is.
- Yes? ...they can never kick us.
Out.
- Why? - Wow! Ask me why. - Why?, - Our, show provides variety.
Okay.
- Okay.
- We have singers on our show.
Okay.
- We have actors on our show.
Okay.
- Okay.
- We have dancers on our show.
Okay.
What are you?, You.
No.., I.
Our show is going to stay on-air for quite some time.
Yes.
- Had.
She gone to school.
She'd have uttered some sensible, stuff.
- Yes.
Don't talk about school. - So, what? I can do reading.
And writing.- Got it? What.
Do you mean? - Reading, writing.
That, means, I'm, literate.
You, don't know? Don't ask me.
Do you know? I have a favourite book., Okay.
- Which one? - Okay.
I've brought it with me.
Okay.
- Oh, my.
- Have.
You read about it? Please, tell us.
- A cheque, book.
Cheque.
What.
- Please, sign it.
Hey.., What, the.., Oh.., - It, says Rs.
1 crore on it.
Rs.
1, crore.
- I'm bound to cheat people for that.
Would.
Anyone ever give me that kind of money? His show is a hit.
It's been running for years., Ask him.
- You, sign it, Kapil., - Yes, he's Mr.
Banker.
In, our names.
- Okay.
- Rs.
1 crore, as prize money.
He'll tear the cheque before giving it to me.
You know.
Instead, I should've asked people for it.
I'd have got Rs.
1 crore.
I have a request for you.
- Yes?, When, Priyanka and Nick have a cute baby.. - Yes.
...do.
Let me know.
I'll go to them to bless their baby.
You see.
Even if Nick Jonas throws pocket change at me, it will be worth 1 crore in American currency. - Yes.
Here's.
What you can do.
Go rest for a few days.
Go home.
- Of course I can go home, but there are many problems: here.
There's, a lot of confusion on our set.
- What is it? After pack up.
When I sat in the car.
The other day the driver took me to Madh Island.
He said, 'ms.
Archana, we've reached your house'.
Ms.
Archana.
I.
I explained him at length that I wasn't Archana.
- Okay.
I told him that I wasn't.
The problem is when we remove our make-up.
We tend to look alike.
Well, that's the problem.
Yesterday.
The driver again took me to Madh Island.
That's, where you live, Ms.
Archana.
- Yes.
To heck with the driver.
- Okay.
Parmeet, held me by the hand and took me inside.
Parmeet took me inside.
I, told him I wasn't Archana.
He said that's why he brought me inside.
That's what he said.
Yes.
I'll, be needing you in Nala Sopara for two days.
- She'll be needing him.
She'll, be needing him.
- What! You'll be needing me? Yes., - And.
Why is that? You know what.
- Yes? The monsoons are here.
- Yes., So? I.
Don't even have an umbrella.
Oh, dear.
- So.
What can I do about? It? Yes.
- They make delicious Pakoras there.
They're.
Quite costly.
- Costly! So.
- Please get my drift.
'please get my drift..' - Then I'll.
Send you an umbrella and a cheque.
- Come,: let's go there and get a little busy.
- Hey.
Hey! Leave him be! - Look.
We've been paired.
Together.
- Yes., Okay.
Then I'll, give you a massage.
What! - Yes.
- Why? I have my parlour here.
- Okay.
- Okay.
We offer different types of massages here.
- Okay. - Yes? We'll offer you a special massage called Kapoor and Son.
What's special about it? - Okay. - What kind of massage is it? In this, the customer disrobes and we apply 'karpoor' or camphor on him, not oil.
And.
Where does the son come into the picture? I'm coming to that.
Okay.
- Then? The customer gets angry and yells at us., Okay.
- Then, I slap him really hard and the sound it makes is 'sunn'.
'karpoor' and 'sunn'.
Pari.
We offer one more kind of massage.
- Okay.
'aloo Paratha Massage.' - Oh.
Okay.. - What's, that?, 'aloo..', - I'll, explain it to you.
You need to understand: it.
- Okay. - Okay., It's, very Punjabi in nature.
- Okay. - Okay., In, Punjabi, 'pra' means friend. - Yes. - Yes., Okay?, And 'loo' means toilet., Yes. - Yes.. - Correct? Then.
We keep the 'pra' ready.
We smear oil on him.
Then we say.
'aa, loo, mein, pra' or 'come to the loo, friend'.
And.
Then we give him 'tha-t' massage.
'aa-loo-pra-tha..' Very good., Superb.
- True.
'aa-loo-pra-tha..' - For, your sister.
- Yes? For, your sister, Priyanka.
I'm, a fan of hers.
- Okay.
I can offer her the Hollywood Massage.
- Okay.
Hollywood.
- What.
Does it mean? - What's it like? In this, the customer disrobes, we smear oil on him.. - Okay.
...and.
Then we make him lie down on some wood.
- Okay.
Then.
We massage him 'houle-houle' or slowly, gently.
This, massage sounds great.
We also offer Bollywood Massage.
- Okay.
I bet you make the customer lie on wood in this as well.
What else.
Could it be?, - You, know everything.
Why? Don't you come there to give people a massage?, In this, we do make.
Customers lie on wood.
- Okay.
...but, the twist is.
- Yes? Then.
We place that wood on the road.
Then we place a 'boli' or bet on it.
Rs., 500.., 'boli-wood!' - Oh, my.
Then.
The highest bidder ends up giving a massage to that person.
- Okay., Very, good.. - Okay.
He gives that person a massage.
Yes, that's what it is.
So, I have to go.
Now.
I have to go clean, Deepak's, 'tijori' or safe.
- Oh.., Superb! A, big hand for Pari and Sidharth once! Please come.
- Superb.
Now.
It is time to take a beautiful picture with our guests.
Ms.
Archana will be clicking the picture.
Wow! Such, a nice picture.
Thank you so much, Sidharth.
Thank you so much, Pari.
Every time they come on our show the show becomes so lively.
I enjoyed talking to you guys, today.
You had set such a nice mood.
Before leaving.
Let me tell you this.
Pari is a good singer., - Yes.
So..